As you watch your parents age, you might find yourself thinking more often about their future care and well-being. This is when planning for end-of-life care becomes a critical part of their estate plan.
Advance health care directives are essential documents that protect your parents’ medical wishes if they become unable to communicate themselves. While it may be uncomfortable to discuss their plans for their later years, it is important in ensuring their autonomy and reducing the potential for family conflicts.
Preparing for the conversation
Before you sit down with your parents, take some time to prepare for this crucial conversation. Start by educating yourself about advance health care directives available in your state. In New York, advance directives typically include designating a health care proxy, who will make critical decisions if they no longer can, and a living will, which will outline their wishes for end-of-life care.
Consider your parents’ values and beliefs. If you are unsure about their views on end-of-life care, take some time to reflect on past conversations or experiences that might provide insight. This understanding will enable you to approach the conversation with empathy and compassion.
Having the conversation
When you are ready, start the conversation by expressing your concerns and reasons for bringing up the topic. Explain what advance health care directives are and how they work. During your discussion, it is crucial to listen more than you talk. Encourage them to share their thoughts on quality of life, medical interventions and what they value most in their health care decisions. Most importantly, let them know that this does not have to be a one-time conversation. You can break it up into smaller discussions over time if that feels more comfortable for everyone involved.
Encouraging action
Talking with your parents about a future where they can no longer do the things they do now can be challenging. However, it is a crucial conversation that ensures that someone will uphold their wishes no matter what happens. Gently encourage them to take action and offer help in finding resources or completing the necessary paperwork. Remind them that having an advance health care directive in place can bring peace of mind to them and your entire family.